


His Broken Heart

by Breadisthebestofall



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Arthur and Gwen have kids, But Only if you squint really hard - Freeform, Depressed Arthur Pendragon, Homophobia, Merlin Dies (Merlin), Multi, Sad Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Sad Gwen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-02-23 08:48:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23008834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Breadisthebestofall/pseuds/Breadisthebestofall
Summary: Merlin takes Arthur's place when they reach the Isle of the Blessed. Arthur returns to Camelot to continue on with his life without him. How does it affect his parenting? How does Gwen handle a depressed Arthur for years on end?(One-Shot)
Relationships: Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (past)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 108





	His Broken Heart

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: So I have been looking for a specific fanfic idea, but I could find none that made me happy. Many of which I read was that Merlin sacrifices himself for Arthur, but by the end, they both live. I want one where Arthur is forced to live without Merlin. So that is where I am. Making another fanfic because I can’t find one that makes me happy. ;-;
> 
> The children and ages  
> Alexandros - 19  
> Iris - 17  
> Mervin - 16  
> Olivier - 14  
> Clara - 13

“YOU DAMN BRAT!” a hostile voice shouted. 

A young girl ran through the halls with a crystal ball close to her chest that she had taken from her father’s room. Narrowly avoiding the servants, she went towards where she and her siblings were going to meet up. The source of the shouting had been a man and he chased the girl through the halls. No one attempted to do anything to stop it for it was the King and his youngest daughter. 

“COME BACK HERE!” he bellowed. 

The girl did not stop for anything. She took a sharp turn and ran until she saw her older brother hiding behind a tapestry mouthing ‘over here’. Using a small enchantment to make her father trip, she changed direction and moved the tapestry which revealed a small passageway that all her siblings were hiding in. 

“Did’ja get it Clara?” the older girl asked. 

“Yep! I sure did Iris,” she announced proudly revealing the ball.

“Was he pissed?” said the youngest boy.

“What do you think, Oliver? He was just storming the halls louder than stampeding animals,” said the oldest boy. 

Oliver merely stuck his tongue out at him. 

“Oi, let's move. I’m getting cramped,” said Clara.

They all agreed as it was not a very wide passage and the dust has started to tickle their noses. Moving in a line, they passed many different entrances and exits until they reached the exit that led to the eldest boys room. 

Piling out they had started to celebrate when they noticed their mother standing in a beautiful lavender gown with her hand held out. 

“Pass it over,” she said simply. 

Clara slowly walked past her older siblings with her head down. Placing the crystal ball into her mother's hand, they waited for the lecture to begin. 

“I am sure you all know by this age that going into your father’s private room is not allowed. And most definitely stealing things from that very room.”

The group of five looked down. 

“Why do you keep doing this to your father? You know he loves you,”

“Does he…”a small mumble came from the second oldest boy. 

“Yes Mervin, he loves each and every one of you.”

“Then why is it that he never shows it? Or let us talk with him while completely degrading us?” the eldest spoke up loudly. 

“ Alexandros, your father-”

“Has had a difficult life,” he finished for her in a mocking tone. “We know that already. Give us an actual explanation for once instead of hiding it. I think we are by far, old enough to hear why his life was ‘difficult’,” Alex said in a slightly raised voice. 

Their mother sighed in defeat. She knew that it was far past the time she should have told them. Making up her mind she said, “I will tell you all after you come with me to return the Seeing Stone.”

They grumbled in defeat. Knowing what was to come when they saw their father again, they prepared their ears for the loud shouting. 

“I SHOULD HAVE YOU ALL IN THE STOCK FOR THIS REPEATED DISOBEDIENCE!” he shouted as soon as he walked into the room.

“I HAVE TOLD YOU ALL REPEATEDLY THAT THAT VERY ROOM IS OFF LIMITS! ARE YOU ALL IDIOTS? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT ‘DO NOT GO IN’ MEANS?” he shouted so close to their faces they could smell the alcohol in his breath. 

He took a long look at Mervin and struck him across the cheek. Mervin, however, did not react. Other than looking evenly into his father’s faded, dull, blue eyes. He took notice of something. Those eyes looked at him with a great sadness in them. They held regret and stories untold to any human ear. 

Clara, on the other hand, began to tear up when her father struck Mervin. She had always been scared of her father when he was like this. Glancing at her older siblings, she took note that they all had a stoic face. Being the youngest made it difficult to live up to others expectations. Biting her tongue, she held back the teared to face the monster in front of her. 

“Arthur, calm down,” their mother said attempting to calm down their father. “You will only encourage them by giving them this reaction.”

“What do you know, Gwenevere,” he said in a venomous tone. “You have no idea what it’s like to be continuously disobeyed by your own children, no less.”

“I will handle their pushishment Arthur. You return to your work,” she spoke unflinchingly and gently took his hand into hers.

He merely yanked his hand away and grabbed the crystal ball. Slamming the door on the way out which shook the whole room from the force.

The five of them all inhaled in relief. 

“You will all be sent to your rooms for the remainder of the day and will go without supper,” Gwen said sternly. “I will come by after your father and I eat to discuss the punishment we have decided on.”

The five of them all looked down and made their way out of the room. Knowing there was no way to get out of the situation, each of them made their way to their rooms. 

The sun began to set as Gwen made her way to Alexandros’s room. Which she knew they would all be in there complaining about Arthur. 

“God, please help them understand what their father is going through. Arthur needs more help than what I can give. His heart is shattered beyond anything ever seen. I wish for my dashing, brave, courageous, king back who was once just and fair,” she quietly prayed to herself hoping that someone would help heal her husband's heart.

Building up her emotional wall she passed the guards and ordered them to leave. No one other than the direct family should hear of this story. For it would be detrimental for the kingdom’s reputation. While Gwen was not a judgemental person, others are and it would forever tarnish the family line. 

Once the guards were away, she took a deep breath and prepared herself for the story. She had hid this from them for too long now.

Alex, Iris, Mervin, Oliver and Clara sat in a circle debating on what next to steal from Arthur’s room. Clara mentioned she saw a neckerchief laying on the desk. It would not be too hard to steal as it was only a small piece of fabric. As they discussed the plan, Gwen walked in, ceasing the plan to a halt. 

‘Please gather on the bed,” Gwen said as she closed the door. “What is said here is never to be spoken of again. It is confidential and I hope that after this, there is a reason for your father’s unfortunate behavior.”

Alex leaned on the bed frame. What could she tell them that would fix the years of constant yelling and stress. 

Iris sat on the bed. She wanted nothing else but to believe there was a reason for his madness.

The three others sat on the bed ready to listen to the story. 

“No question until I am finished please,” she said and began.

“Back when your grandfather, Uther, was still king, his wife Ygraine gave birth to your father. Not much is known about what went wrong, but after her death, Uther went mad and blamed magic for it. He banned magic and thus began the Great Purge. Anything related to magic was killed and burned. The druids, peaceful magicfolk, were hunted down and all their knowledge of magic with them, were burned at the stake. 

“Your father, Arthur, grew up being taught that magic was evil and that it should be completely destroyed at all costs. As you know today, he no longer thinks that and is trying to promote the practice of magic. But in his younger days, he was very prejudiced against magic. As your father grew, he was always trying to please your grandfather by doing whatever was asked of him.

“Uther had a ward called Morgana. She and Arthur became close friends as they grew up, but as expectations began to rise for Arthur, they drifted apart. Arthur was able to uphold those high expectations from his father and the kingdom. He worked tirelessly in battle strategies and with the sword. Although he had a deep hatred for his academic studies, he acceled even in them. 

“Upholding expectations were expected, but no privileged prince is without flaws. He was very arrogant and rude to all who were below him. A clotpole as we servants would call him behind his back. As I was still Morgana’s maid at the time. But it all started to change when a boy entered the city of Camelot as the current physicians ward. 

“That boy was only a few years younger than Arthur. The boy was 16 and Arthur was 18 when they first met. I had the opportunity to witness their first meeting. Arthur, in his young, princely, arrogance, was making fun of a servant in the castle. Making him run with a large, heavy, wooden, target to ‘give him some moving target practice’. The servant fell in front of the boy and what that boy did started the change in Arhtur’s perspective of the whole world. 

“The boy said, ‘that’s enough. You’ve had your fun, my friend’. Arthur was with his friends at the time and was not going to be showed up by a measly peasant. So in return he asked ‘Do I know you?’. ‘Uh, I’m Merlin’ he responded. ‘So I don't know you. Yet you call me ‘friend’. Arthur responded with his princely tone. ‘That was my mistake.’ By now Arthur was sure he had asserted his dominance over the situation but the boy continued. ‘I could never have a friend who could be such an arse’. 

“That was the first time anyone had ever spoken to him like that. I bet your father still remembers exactly how it happened. But, being the prince, he was able to come up with a quick retort, ‘Or I who could be so stupid. Tell me, Merlin, do you know how to walk on your knees?’ ‘No.’ ‘Do you want me to help you?’ And Merlin, that foolish idiot had no idea that he was speaking to the Prince of Camelot, Arthur. 

“Things began to escalate, and it turned into a fight wicht Arthur, being trained in combat by the best, won without much of a fight. He then told Merlin who he was messing with and sent him to the dungeons. 

“Merlin had already met up with Gaius, the court physician, and one of Uther’s most trusted friends, so he was able to get out fairly quickly. I know not what happened after that, but later there was a feast to welcome a singer to Camelot. Merlin was there due to being Gaius's ward. 

“When she began to sing, people began to fall asleep. Not of borem, no, it was an enchantment. The whole hall was in a deep slumber, except for Merlin. He had acted quickly and covered his ears to avoid hearing the song. 

“The sorceress then drew a dagger. Arthur was fast asleep and there was no one stopping her. She took aim at his sleeping body and threw her dagger. Merlin, without thinking, jumped and pushed Arthur aside. The sorceress, surprised, stopped singing, thus ending the enchantment. 

“It was revealed that the singer was killed by a sorceress who wanted revenge on Uther for killing her son due to magic. 

“Uther was so relieved that his son was saved, he granted Merlin a higher position in the castle. Prince Arthur’s manservant. Now, both Merlin and Arthur despised this new change as two bickering boys would. 

“In the days after Merlin and Arthur despised each other and bantered quite a bit. The servants seemed to notice a change in Arthur after that. Arthur began to see servants as people too. They made sure that the entire castle was functional and working, made sure every place was spotless, and delivered items from place to place. He stopped tormenting them and when Merlin was dying from poison that he had drank in Arthur’s sted, he did not hesitate to go against his father’s word to go out and seek the antidote. 

“Those were the years that Arthur changed drastically. No one had the guts to call out or call the prince names other than Merlin. People just gravitate toward him, and I will admit, I held a small likeness for his idodic personality. Merlin was a massive klutz and would trip over air and come crashing down in a mess only he could make. He had ears too big for his head, a beautiful shade of blue eyes and the messiest black hair. His long, skinny body did not help much to help with his lack of balance, but he held the most loving smile. 

“The two of them, time and time again, would risk their lives for each other no matter the cost. Arthur almost always sought out his consul whenever he was troubled and every time, Merlin was right in one way or another. But soon, all good things come to an end. Morgana discovered that she had magic and Uther’s war against it had not wavered in the slightest. She conspired against the throne and attempted on Uther’s life many times. Merlin, however he was able to, was able to keep both Arthur and Uther alive. He seemed to know everything before it had happened and was already formulating a plan to save Arthur. (If I told you of every time Merlin saved him, we would be here for days on end.)

“I nor anyone will never be able to replicate that amount of devotion to one person. Morgana went mad, Uther died and Arthur blamed magic, and Merlin lost so much by standing at Arthurs side. Yet, not once did he ever falter. He continued to stay there, despite his losses and hardships, he was determined to create the The Once and Future King, Arthur, rise to create Albion. 

“Arthur began to fancy me before Uther's death and when he died, Arthur wedded me soon after. During the courtship, I noticed something. Every time I shared a moment with Arthur, Merlin was looking away. I never thought much other than ‘oh, he is giving us a little bit of privacy’.

“The war with the Morgana and Saxons did not cease and soon Arthur was riding out to meet them at the front lines. Something happened to Merlin the night before. He told Arthur there was something he needed to do. Arthur could not believe it. That old klutzy Merlin, who had been at his side through thick and thin was leaving him right before he left for battle. That night, Arthur shook in our bed. There was nothing I could do to comfort him. He turned away from my hold and told me to not worry about him. 

“I went with him to the front lines despite his insisting. The war was not looking good for Camelot, and Arthur was forced to go out and fight. That night while we were about to drift off, he sat up. I asked him what was wrong. His eyes were not focused on me, but on something else. ‘Merlin,’ he said ‘It’s Merlin’. Then, without any explanation, he quickly put on his armour and started giving orders.

“He took his troops out and while fighting the Saxons head on they were slowly becoming outnumbered. Then, right when 7 Saxons changed at the exhausted Arthur, there was a lightning bolt that struck them down. Then more came down, in a flurry, at the Saxons. Arthur looked up on top of the mountain, was a sorcerer wielding a staff. The sorcerer was old, but his eyes looked familiar. Arthur decided to not put too much thought into it now and with the rest of his soldiers, charged the remaining Saxons. But one of the Saxons was once a knight of Camelot. A knight that was close to Arthur too.

“He froze. 

“He was stabbed. 

“A single moment's hesitation was all that was needed. 

“Arthur was struck down. Then someone picked up his sword and stabbed the knight. Killing him near instantly. 

“It was Merlin. He had arrived a moment too late. 

“Merlin drug Arthur away from the battlefield. Arthur had been struck with a blade that had been forged in a dragons breath. But, if that was not bad enough, the blade chipped and left a piece of the metal inside Arthur. 

“The only way to save Arthur now was to take him to the Sidhe, in the Isle of the Blessed. Powerful magical beings that could heal such a wound. They traveled together, but something had changed. Merlin admitted to something. He admitted he had magic. He was a sorcerer. 

“Arthur was taught since birth that all those who practiced magic were evil and that it corrupts people. Being subject to many unfortunate deeds made my vengeful sorcerers and sorceresses, left a strong idea that magic was bad. So, if that were true, then how could his klutzy manservant who could not do something right, even if his life depended on it. How could the one he had been so honest to, lie to him about many things. 

“Arthur was shattered. His beloved manservant had been lying to him for all those years they had shared together. 

“As the two of them traveled to The Isle of the Blessed, Merlin cared for the wounded Arthur. Saxons were still running rampant through the woods and he had to keep them safe. During that time, Arthur learned that magic was not so bad after all and that he could still trust his gangly manservant. 

“Again, trouble hit them. Though this time it was Morgana. She was now full of hate and grief. Merlin, again, had no choice but to kill her as well. They were close to the Isle, but Arthur was fading fast. When they reached the bedside of the lake, Merlin could feel Arthur fading. 

“A Sidhe flew over to him and asked, ‘do you wish to save him?’ The answer was completely obvious. ‘Yes’. he replied. ‘A life for a life’ the Sidhe said. 

‘Then I shall trade places with my king.’

“He did. They switched places with each other. Merlin could feel the piece of the blade in his body and the felt the blood flowing out. 

“I do not know much of what happened after that. Arthur… he completely shut me out when he got to this part. Part of me knows that I should not pry to hear what happened, but Arthur told me something. He said, that if the two of them lived in another place, another time, and a not need to worry about social status, he and Merlin would probably be more than friends. 

“This shocked me at first. Arthur was saying, he loved Merlin. Although it does sadden me, a small slice of heart told me this long ago. Whenever Arthur and I were together, Merlin never stayed longer than necessary. I suppose that he could not bear to see the one he loved in the arms of another. Despite how he felt, he gave me counselling whenever Arthur and I were fighting. 

“Merlin is the most self sacrificial of us all. He watched the back of his beloved protecting him from all dangers. He loved your father so much that he would willingly sacrifice his own happiness for Arthurs. 

“After your father returned, we gave him news one of his most trusted knights had passed, Sir Gwain. He bore no reaction. Another one of his close friends had been killed. Lancelot, Eleyan, Morgana, Mordred, his uncle had betrayed him and was killed, his father lied, even I had been enchanted against your father. Arthur had faced one too many deaths and betrayals, that no comfort I could give him would help. He slowly drank more and more alcohol, becoming violent, and shut everyone out. 

“Then your father lifted the ban on magic, his last deed for Merlin. That night, while he thought I was asleep, he wept. He wept until dawn, but the next day and things had not changed. Arthur is still the best knight, great at battle strategy, making decisions based on his people needs, and other such things. He keeps many of Merlin things such as the Seeing Stone and the neckerchief you were planning to steal. 

“Merlin will have forever changed his life. I just wish he had more time with us. All of us. The simple days of adventures are over for us, but you 5 can continue these stories and be the adventurous lot you are. So I only ask of you to please stop giving your father a hard time.

After telling the story, Gwen kissed them each goodnight. They quietly made their way to their own rooms respectively and layed in their bed thinking about what they had just learned. There were some parts of the story better left forgotten to time. Lancelot had been her true love. Both her and Arthur knew this. But, she was blinded by the physical attraction to Arthur to notice his love. 

She made her way to her and Arthur’s chambers. Slowly walking in, she changed into her nightdress and laid down next to Arthur. He was not yet asleep. 

“You told them, didn’t you.” It was not a question. Arthur knew that she had told them.

“Yes, they deserve to know their family’s history,” she said gently. 

He remained silent and Gwen turned so that their backs were facing each other. 

How she wished he would let her hold him in her arms and tell her what was wrong, but he was a closed door hidden in a mess of cobwebs and clutter.

Closing her eyes she fell asleep. 

*A Month Later

Arthur had been slowly being poisoned. Though he claimed he did not know until he was collapsing in the halls. He was bedridded for a few days, got better, but collapsed again. Gwen was facticaly looking for any possible cure. But, as it turned out, nothing could cure this. It was another love enchantment, it had gone wrong. As Arthur was enchanted, he was to love the one to change his life, which the sorceress had originally intended to do. But, Arthur’s life had already been changed, by none other than Merlin. So, until Arthur could love again, his heart would slowly give out until it stopped completely. 

Gwen knew after hearing this that her time with her husband would be limited, but there was still a kingdom to manage. She and Alxeandros took turns managing the political matters while the other watched over Arthur. 

What shocked Gwen the most was the rapid aging of him. When he had first gotten ill, he still l had his bright golden hair and large muscles. But now, he looked more like a weary old beggar man on the sides of the street in Camelot. All his golden hair was replaced with thin white hair. His strong muscular body was now nothing but skin and bone. He could hardly keep anything in his stomach and felt ill for the better part of the day. 

All in all, this seemed bad for the kingdom. But, this caused their children to spend more time with their father. They would read to him, talk to him about the things they did that day, or just ramble on about nothing. Arthur seemed happy talking to his children for once. It was nice to see them all getting along, but Arthur was dying. 

It was about 3 months of slow decay before it had come upon the family. Arthur was not going to make it through the night. The family of soon to be 6 moved toward the king's chambers. There layed King Arthur the Great on his deathbed. He looked nothing like he had a few months prior, he was unhealthy pale and the smell of death grew stronger as they approached the bed. 

“Arthur, the children are here to see you before you go,” Gwen said softly. 

He barely responded. The only reason she knew he heard her was how his eyes brightened. 

Gently moving Arthur into a sitting position so he could see his children. She held onto his right hand tightly, not ever wanting to let go. He gave as big of a smile he could manage with his weak body. 

“When I was young, I had always imagined dying in a battle. Leaving this world with an exquisite exit. But now, I am glad that I am surrounded by my family.”

Arthur’s voice was shaky and he seemed out of breath every few words, but he seemed… happy. 

This confused Alex. How could someone be happy about their death? Looking over, Clara was crying. Silent tears poured out of her eyes. Oliver was hugging her and he was crying as well.

Iris, who had a strong dislike for father, held his other hand. She looked sad, but not to the point of tears. Alex knew he had tears in his eyes, but he had to remain strong. His father had missed his coming of age ceremony due to him being ill. He was the heir to the throne. There could be no weakness. A leader had to be strong even in the hardest of times. 

Mervin was the farthest one away from the bed. He was the odd one. Alex, Iris, Oliver, and Clara all were showing signs of grief and sadness. Mervin was not. He was a blank slate. Different from the rest. Prefering to keep to himself rather than hanging out with the rest. A cough drew his attention back to Father. 

They all sat in silence with the occasional cough from Arthur until he began to speak again. 

“I can see him, Gwen.”

“See who Arthur? No one has entered the room.”

Gwen was now nearly sobbing. Arthur was leaving them. 

“It’s him. He’s come to get me. I can be happy again.”

“Then go to him, if he's waiting for you. You have made him wait long enough.”

“Thank you……….” he breathed. His body went limp as he spoke those words and eyes glazed over. 

Gwen let out a sharp gasp Alex quickly ran over and hugged his mother tightly. Oliver and Clara started to sob, Iris let out a few tears, and Mervin looked down. 

He was gone. 

A sudden gust of wind filled the room. It picked up the papers and blew at the candle flames. The wind whisked the papers out of the now opened window and into the setting sun. It seemed to be playfully dancing with it. 

If you listened carefully, you could hear a voice whispering, ‘Thank you’.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Comments, criticism, and other ideas/changes are welcome. :)


End file.
